[Transformers] 6 weird questions you get asked as a Transformers collector (with answers!)

So I’m a Transformers collector, and it’s been a fun ride going to conventions, showcasing my toys, and just general all around shopping.

But there are so many strange questions I have been asked as a Transformers collector, that make me scratch my head in bewilderment. I understand that some of these questions are meant to mock – but it kind of makes me question the asker’s sanity.

Well, here we go!

1)Do you take your Transformers to bed with you?

Transformers are made of plastic. They are hard and sharp. They are liable to stab you somehow if you roll over them. And if they don’t, then you’ll end up breaking them if you roll over them right? I don’t even… sigh.

My ideal answer: Do you like cars? Do you bring your Maserati to bed with you?

 

2)Do you know that if you take them out of their packaging, they lose their value?

Good grief. If I didn’t know that, I wouldn’t be much of a Transformers collector, right? In any case, my policy is that Transformers are toys and toys are meant to be played with.

Also, there are “collectors” that scalp and call it an “investment.” Firstly, they are not real collectors. Secondly, if you want to invest in something, have the sense to choose stocks or gold, and not Transformers (talking to you, scalpers).

My ideal answer: Really? Oh no! I’ve lost so much money! Can you tide me over this rough period with a donation of half a million dollars?

 

3)Do you talk to your Transformers?

They are not human beings. I don’t talk to random bits of plastic. Do ladies talk to the high heels they wear?

I make them talk to each other though when I play with them.

My ideal answer: Sometimes, and they express their pity for people who ask me if I talk to inanimate pieces of plastic. 

 

4)Do you want to be a Transformer?

No. They are toys. They are machines. They are robots. I want to be a human being, not a robot. If they were human-looking with super powers, I can understand the question… but they’re not

Also, if I were to take this seriously – do you think I can retain my Singapore citizenship if I were a robot? Have you seen petrol prices, and how much it would cost to feed me if I were a robot?

My ideal answer: Hey Mr Watch Collector! Do you want to be a watch? You’ve got two hands and a face, you’d make a great watch!

 

5)Do you transform your Transformers?

I can’t believe I’ve been asked this before, but yes, such is the state of the human race. I would be completely missing the point if I were a collector and a fan and I didn’t transform my Transformers, no?

Although admittedly, I’ve seen folks buy an extra piece of the same Transformer because they don’t have time to transform it. I think that’s missing the point, but if you have that much money…

My ideal answer: Transform? What’s that? I’ve never heard of that word before. Is it related to Go-Bots?

 

6)Would you marry a Transformer?

I want children. Transformers and humans cannot reproduce. But let’s say I take this seriously. Do you know any countries which allow you to marry literal aliens from other planets? It’d be hard getting a long term visit pass for a Transformer in Singapore.

Also, Transformers don’t exist. Asking me this shows that you believe that Transformers exist, and I’m slowly walking away from you now.

My ideal answer: Ya. Can help me with the ROM? 

As you can tell, it has been an exasperating experience for me. Also, I’ve lost a bit of faith in the human race after listening to all these questions.

Time to open another Transformer!