[Tranformers] 10 life lessons I’ve learnt as a Transformers fan

For those of you who believe that I’ve spent way too much money on colourful moveable plastic, I’m here to set the record straight. I’ve learnt several life lessons being a Transformers fan. OK, maybe life lessons is too serious a word here, but I’m just saying I’ve learnt several principles that also apply to other parts of life. Just so you know that I won’t be waxing lyrical about the merits of ball joints or paint applications in this post.

Also, I really like Transformers, in case you didn’t know.

1)Children come first

Honestly, Transformers was, and still mostly is, meant to be a kid’s toy. That means that if it comes down to you or a small kid in a departmental store, let the kid have his toy. As an adult, we have so many other means of getting the toy. Let’s be honest here, if you really wanted it, you’d throw money at it.

But a child doesn’t have all these options. He can only buy what his parents let him, he can only go to the places that his parents bring him to. This is his or her childhood. Don’t wreck it.

Similarly, when it comes to children in almost anything, let them have their way. This is barring life threatening situations or being a spoilt brat. But they’re living their childhood now, and they have so little options when it comes to having what they want. So if it’s on the road, or at a store, or in a crowded place – give way to kids.

Unless they are screaming in a movie cinema, or their parents are rampantly pushing an empty stroller and running over everyone’s feet. Then go to town on the parents, but not the kids. The parents should know better.

2)Complaints are omnipresent, whether intentional or not

For every awesome product that Hasbro or Takara puts out, there will be a bazillion complaints, ranging from price to colour to engineering to just a basic “I think this character is stupid and they should have made another character.” But at the end of the day, these selfsame whiners are the ones who will later complain about how they should have preordered the product, and how it is so expensive on the resale market now, and how everyone is scalping this hot item. You know they secretly want it, even though they’ve ragged on every single possible flaw (imagined or otherwise) about the toy.

It’s just like how you have a colleague who whines to death about everything you do – but then starts complaining (or is it “continues complaining?”) when you don’t do what they complain about. You’ve pleased them, but you’ll never know from the sound of their yammering.

3)Don’t give people what they want, give people what they need

Up till Revenge of the Fallen, Transformers got more and more complicated in their transformations and designs, until we got the famed ROTF Leader Class Optimus Prime & Masterpiece Megatron, two of the most difficult to transform Transformers ever. I think that’s when they started realising that kids couldn’t play with these toys – heck, even adults couldn’t transform them at times.

So there was a change in design direction to simplify the transformations, despite the fandom’s desperate pleas that Transformers toys were being “dumbed down.”

Now, a few years later, everyone seems perfectly happy with the transformations. I believe sales are up, since they can branch their product line into so many different age groups, thanks to the simplified transformations. Even the more adult-skewed line is less of a pain to transform, and easier to collect and show off. Yes, show off. That’s what we adults buy them for right?

What we needed were Transformers that we could actually transform without requiring the limbs of an octopi, but nobody would admit that – would you admit to being unable to transform what is ostensibly a kid’s toy? Hasbro and Takara sat up, took note, and acted on what we needed, not what we claimed we wanted.

It’s just like life, and the simplest analogy would be your health. You’ve got a cold? Great, you need cough mixture, although what you really want is fried chicken. Some of us would actually succumb to fried chicken, but those who actually care about us would smack that drumstick out of our hands and force feed cough mixture down our throats.

It’s about what we need, not what we want.

4)How to maximise your resources

Ever seen retools? Repaints? We somehow managed to get sold the same mould multiple times, just that it’s different colours (Nemesis Prime) or comes with extra weapons that we’re incredibly happy with.

And it’s maximising the investment made into the Optimus Prime mould (which I’m stating simply because, you know, every collector has at least two Optimus Prime repaints). It’s amazing how resourceful you can be when you need to increase revenue without increasing expenses.

So it is with whatever you are selling at work. Have an Avengers movie? Cut little clips from it and use it as teasers instead of commissioning an entire new trailer. Wrote a piece of copy on Facebook? Repurpose on all your media platforms and repost it . Selling cafe lattes? Package it together with a croissant and sell it as a breakfast set, tada, another product!

It’s all about trying to sell the same thing to people in as many different ways as possible, and making the best use of your available resources.

5)Rule 42 of the Internet

This is no where more apparent when you search for more than one Transformer. The first two rows of images alone will incur Rule 42.

I first discovered it when searching for “Megatron Starsream.” My eyes.

They are robots, but sometimes… it boggles the mind.

So it is when you search for anything, anything, on the Internet. Be careful what you search for, especially if you’re searching for an image during a presentation and your Google Image search results are plastered all over a giant projection screen.

6)Story trumps design

No matter how cool a Transformer looks, if in story it’s a boring, wimpy character, it’s not going to sell that well. Ergo, I’m not going to buy it. I’m sure there are those who buy Transformers purely for the aesthetic of it and because it looks cool (OK, I do sometimes), but if there’s no strong story behind it, it’s not going to sell all that well.

Take a look at the three fembots that Takara released for the Generations line – Arcee, Chromia, and Windblade. Of the three, Arcee has the strongest story and the longest presence (arguably, Windblade has a stronger story, but hers isn’t as well known), and hence she’s the one who’s getting a second production run.

So it is with the things that you do. As long as there’s a storyline – a beginning, middle, and hopefully a closing to your purpose – it tends to be more accepted. In other words, include a conflict that you’ve overcome, a struggle that was dealt with, in whatever you do, and it’ll go down much, much better.

I like to write because it was my childhood ambition to be a writer, and so here I am, penning words that all 4 of you are reading (thanks guys, you know who the 4 of you are).

7)The universe will give you what you want – after you’ve bought it

I can’t count the number of times I was desperately searching for a toy, and finally acquired it after paying through my nose for it.

Only to find it going on sale a day or two later, without anyone wanting to pick it up at all. It’s usually at half price. To add insult to the injury, I usually find multiple parties selling it within a week of me purchasing it. I think the last such instance was with the Battlefield Headquarters from the old Micromasters series. Urgh.

And honestly, it applies to everything in life. A new massager I bought went on sale at 20% off about a month after I bought it (to be fair, I didn’t quite do my research or deliberate on it too much) (it really was a massager, that was not an euphemism). You’ll get a coupon from Amazon a week after you’ve carefully planned and bought everything you’ve wanted and it’s on its way to Singapore. And so on and so forth.

So the best thing to do is to suck it up, ignore the cheaper prices thrown at you, and move on with life. You’ve spent the money already. Sunk costs yo.

8)Community is important

Botcon 2014 was one of the most memorable experiences I’ve had since becoming a working adult. It was amazing to just be able to geek out with people of similar interests without having to think if I was being weird or boring. Everyone was chill, and in sync with whatever was happening in Transformers. And come on, the fact that most of them travelled a fair distance to stay in a hotel just to attend a convention about Transformers, shows that they came with a good deal of dedication to the hobby.

That’s not to say there’s not a community anywhere else, but oh gosh, there are so many weirdos and cheapos that it’s hard to find good people to mix with. I have though, and there are plenty of them, but when you’re past a certain age, I guess you just don’t want to have to sift through the chaff to get to the wheat.

Similarly, for anything else that you do – be it work, religion, or even hobbies (like mine), it’s important to be in the right community with the right people, to make it sustainable. If your sphere is full of weirdos then sorry man, it’s tough to continue what you’re doing. The Internet helps, of course, but nothing beats real life interaction.

9)There’s more than meets the eye to people and Transformers

Whether it be that annoying friend who keeps stealing your jokes, or the PRC lady who can’t speak English but expects non-Chinese to understand her, or the pesky iPhone customer who insists she didn’t drop her phone in the toilet bowl despite the stench coming from it – there’s always a back story to them. There’s always hidden difficulties, a tale that they rather not be said, a painful loss that they can’t quite cope with.

And that’s why some Transformers look damn strange (since they have to look realistic in their alternate mode), and why some people are insufferable (because they can’t cope with what they’ve gone through).

Understanding that helps a little bit more, and I think a little more kindness would help us all.

Unless, of course, it’s Masterpiece toy. Then that transformation better be awesome and both modes better look damn sweet man.

10)Transformers are a luxury, not a necessity

And sometimes we forget that. We act as if toys should be affordable to the masses in the quantities we expect, but the fact that we can actually afford to spend a money on something that isn’t essential to our survival signifies that we’re already incredibly fortunate.

So yes, remember that it’s a luxury, and if you can’t buy the next release that’s out (Bape Convoy anoyone) because it’s too expensive – it doesn’t matter. You won’t die. Your family members won’t suffer. Nobody is going to come into grievous harm or suffer terrible injuries because you don’t. It’s a luxury, so as with all luxuries that you can’t have – it doesn’t matter.

And it applies to everything else in life beyond basic survival necessities. Can’t find the latest Lego set? You have three meals to eat, so it’s OK. Couldn’t make it to your friend’s party on time? It’s all right, you still have a bed to go home to at night. Weren’t able to buy the new liushabao before they ran out? It’s ok, there’s a roof over over your head when you go home right?

Chill, it’s a luxury.

So here’s what I’ve learnt in life from Transformers, so that all my friends can understand that my hobby isn’t just about collecting articulated humanoid idols. In fact, I have this to say about my hobby.

There’s more to it than meets the eye.

(Runs away at the sound of the inevitable groans)

(And yes, I know I re-used that joke from point 9)

(And thank you everyone who pointed out the numerous errors in my first draft :/)